The Moment I Felt Divine Love
After my second cervical surgery on Monday March 11th, 2019, my healing truly took off. Not only physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually too. Three days after my initial surgery, on Wednesday the 13th, I finally got to listen to some music instead of the solo beeps of machines. The moment I heard music, it sounded so beautiful. As if I hadn’t heard it all my life.
I have no idea if the surgery and music had any correlation with one another, but I knew in that moment something was different. I was in critical care for two days after my surgery. I was squirting blood out of the draining tube, choking on blood clots that were stuck in my breathing tube, and my vitals were dropping. All I know is, music has always been healing for me.
One summer night changed my life forever. I was doing my daily yoga practice and the surgery was still fresh, maybe a month or two old, so I had to be very gentle with my body. As usual I put on my “Yoga Flow” playlist on Spotify. This playlist is over fifteen hours long, so there are plenty of songs to play on shuffle. Each night, while I practiced my yoga the same song would play. There were even synchronicities of double and triple numbers on the clock at the same time.
The song was “Dreamers” by Isbells. I was deep in meditation during my yoga, when suddenly, I heard between my breathing: “Your prayers will be heard. The moment you start to believe them.” Tears welled up and I fell to my mat. Before starting my practice that night I set the intention to find out if I really had angels. The previous year of my life I didn’t feel like I had any “unseen power” with me or even protecting me. It felt like I was all alone in the dark, trying to feel my way through every twist and turn life threw at me, worrying what I might trip over next. I needed to know if there was someone, something, there for me.
I not only needed to know something was there for me but I wanted to feel it too. I needed to be connected to it to make it through this next stage of my life. I couldn’t do it alone anymore.
As I continued on with my yoga those nights, no matter what time I’d started, that song would play. After months of heartache and stress, I finally felt safe, for the first time in such a long time. My chest didn’t seize from crying but instead it melted from internal warmth. A warmth I’d almost forgotten existed.
Every question I had for the Universe, in that moment in time, was answered in that song. Will I ever completely heal from the past? Can I ever have the life I truly want? Will my heart always feel broken? Am I okay? Are my angels truly here helping me?
By the end of the song, hearing these lyrics, I understood that I was surrounded and protected by Divine Love. There was no more doubt about it, every cell in my body could feel it.
“Well your prayers will be heard
Angels’ll come to sing
A song you never heard
Here’s a new beginning
The moment you start believing
You’ll get a new beginning
The moment you start believing
You’ll get a new beginning”
The knowing was stronger than ever before and I’ve never had to question it since.